I hadn’t heard from Jorge in seven months. And, in truth, I hadn’t given him very much thought. Our fling had ended quietly and without fanfare. I hadn’t been emotionally invested. It had been a good time while it lasted, and I was entirely satisfied with that.
And then I woke up one Monday morning to a missed call from him. I sent a quick text, asking if he had meant to call or if it had been a butt dial. He responded a few hours later: it was intentional. He said he wanted to reconnect, he missed ‘his Brit’. He had been through some changes and things were going well for him. He had his own business now, and it was already successful. He was ‘enlightened’ and saw the world through a new lens. Not religion, right? No, not religion. Phew. Mushrooms, that’s fine.
I called him that night after work. He answered, Hola Hermosa. It was good to hear his voice. He sounded better, more alert, sharper. He sounded positive, like someone who was motivated and ready to take on the world. This was not the Jorge I had known, I was intrigued. We talked for an hour, maybe two. He was sorry for the text he had sent me the last time we spoke. He had been jealous, his feelings hurt that I had moved on so quickly. I understood, and very probably would have felt the same way – though I might have handled it a little differently.
I invited him over. I was home alone, and I was enjoying our conversation. I made it clear that I was only inviting him to hang out, no promises of sex. Our sex had always been very good, but I wanted to see if the chemistry was still there. He headed here immediately, and picked up snacks on his way. Always appreciated.
When he arrived he was clearly incredibly nervous. I began to realize that he was more invested in ‘us’ than I had previously perceived. I tried to reassure him, it’s just me, he knows me, I’m not scary. But I thought I’d never see you again, he said. We sat on my couch and talked for a while. I began to rub his back, in an attempt to soothe those nerves. Eventually he began to relax, and we started to kiss.
I led him to my bedroom, though he already knew the way. We kissed, we touched, we fucked. I was pleased to see he remembered what I like, and how I like it. And that his stamina had not decreased in the time we had been apart. He explored me, cherished me, relished me. He delighted in every moment. His expression was that of a man who could not believe his luck. I adore every inch of you, he whispered.
We spent the night together for the first time. I didn’t sleep well, I couldn’t settle. I was pleased to see him, I’d had a good time, he had been wonderful. But I couldn’t relax with him. I couldn’t place why.
I had a phone call with B planned for the following morning, and I told Jorge about it. I left him sleeping in my bed when I got up to start my morning routine and watched the clock for 6:45am, when my phone would ring. I told B what had happened, and he was excited for me, as he always is when I have a good experience with someone who treats me nicely. After our call, I finished getting ready for work, roused Jorge, and he went home while I headed to the office.
He texted all day, and the next day, and the next. Called every evening. He wanted constant contact and communication. He told me he had fallen for me months ago, I had never realized it. Unfortunately, I do not feel the same way. I could have, once, but it would have been short-lived. We are not compatible. He wants more than I can give him, he gets jealous, he finds it hard to share me. Jorge is monogamous, and although he wants ‘us’ to work, I don’t see how we can. Our communication styles are so different and I get frustrated with him, and he misunderstands me and jumps to his own conclusions without hearing what I have to say. We just aren’t a good fit.
It’s too bad because as FWBs we were great, or at least I thought we were, but he wants more. And I don’t think I can offer that to him, I don’t think I want to. I also don’t want to hurt his feelings (again), but I don’t see a way to avoid it. I’m sorry, Guapo, I really am.
Fat and Slutty 