Fat and Slutty

It’s been a minute since my last post. Things have been a little hectic lately, for a variety of reasons, but I’m back.

It’s been a while since I’ve dated anyone new. Things with B are going from strength to strength and my cup has been feeling very full. It’s so nice!

I have been considering reaching out to one or two of my previous dates and asking if they would be interested in hooking up casually. Your girl could use the occasional maintenance fuck, and I know a handful of guys who are very good at it.

However, before I finished my deliberations, some of them began contacting me. And not the ones I would have picked.

You may recall Jorge, who was not very nice to me in my last interaction with him back in February, when I responsibly let him know I had chlamydia. I blocked his number at the time and told him I was doing so. So, last week, he texted me from a web-generated phone number. He said, ‘It’s Jorge. My test was clean. Sorry I was rude. I want to see you.’ I responded, ‘Glad it was negative. Why do you want to see me?’

He said he was obsessed with reminiscing on our time together. With my body. He kept repeating that he wanted to see me. I have to admit that I wavered for a moment. He and I used to have fun together. He was regularly available and good at staying in touch via texting. Plus, he only lives half an hour away. If nothing else, he is convenient.

When I didn’t reply immediately, he said, ‘I’m sure you have enough boyfriends right now’, and ‘I know you are busy with plenty of little boys’. Um. What? I informed him that his attitude was not endearing. I said I would call him later. My intent was to have the satisfaction of telling him on the phone that he was the only little boy I knew and that I had no desire to see him again. But he didn’t pick up when I called that evening.

Ultimately, I texted and told him I did not wish to see him, and asked him not to contact me again. I hope he respects that request, but considering I have now blocked three phone numbers he has used to text me, he probably won’t.

THE NEXT DAY, I was at work, minding my own business, when my phone went off again. A text. From Michael this time. We have not spoken since January, when I spurned his advances because he seemed (and admitted he was) unstable, and, given his history, that is not a version of Michael with which I wish to interact.

This time, he was calm. He wanted to know how I was doing and asked about my dating life. I let him know I had been basically inactive and asked about his. He told me he had just ended an engagement. Woah. He moved fast.

Michael was actually someone I had vaguely considered contacting about hooking up. He is a machine in the bedroom and has always left me satisfied. When we were together, I enjoyed his aggressive sexuality and I wasn’t opposed to the idea of experiencing it again. But, he is also somewhat unhinged, and I always feel the need to watch his mood very closely. He has never made me feel threatened, but he does not make me feel entirely safe.

He asked if he could call me after work, and I said he could. He didn’t call. I texted the next morning, but there was no reply. I looked him up on social media and found his business and personal pages. He posts publicly. Excellent. He basically only posts about his business, biblical scripture, and his fiancée. She had deactivated her profile.

I checked again the following day, and her profile was back up, but the name had been changed on it. Now, it was a joint profile for the two of them. To my mind, that can only mean one thing: she’s caught him messaging with other women. So, they were back on, which explains him going back to silence on me.

A few days later, he texted again. Saying he didn’t know why he’d “just” got my texts. Suuuurrreeee. I checked her profile, and what do you know? Deactivated again. Quel suprise.

So, I’m done with that mess. Probably for the best. But damn he was fun to fuck.

Now I’m waiting to see who will come crawling out of the woodwork next. If this is to be a really unholy trinity, it’ll be Jeff. But he still owes me money, so that is unlikely. And definitely unwanted.

It seemed beyond coincidental that I should hear from both of those jokers in the same week. My theory is that it is sundress season, and they are both Neanderthals looking for somewhere warm and wet in which to stuff themselves. No, thank you. I’ll pass.