This weekend has been awesome. Today is the first time in over a week that I feel like I have actually sat still. I am not complaining.
I spent Friday night and most of Saturday with T. It was lovely. I received some very sad news on Friday morning that I will probably write about sometime soon. Friday was a rough day. T was wonderful. He held space for me and my sadness, was supportive and understanding, and clarified that he had no expectations on me that evening. I was very grateful for that.
It was good to see him. I didn’t feel quite as bright and upbeat as I usually do, but I wasn’t moping either. I tried hard to be good company and to set my sadness aside for at least that night.
We went downtown to visit an art market and jazz festival. I bought an adorable pair of earrings. We ran into some friends of mine. It was a comfortable early summer evening, and I liked how his hand felt in mine. We had a ridiculous amount of fun playing our own reimagined version of The Price Is Right in an art gallery. He was much better at it than I was. I was gracious in my defeat.
We had dinner in a nice restaurant, tried everything on each other’s plates, talked about all kinds of things, people watched. It was relaxed and comfortable. One of my favorite things about spending time with T is that it is new and exciting but also feels familiar and safe. We have both agreed that being together is so easy that it feels as though we have known each other for a long time.
After dinner, we walked around a little more before heading back to the car. We went back to his place and put on a shitty movie. Walked his dog a little. Hung out. My mind was on my sad stuff again, and I didn’t feel like initiating anything physical right away. I was enjoying his company, though. And being close to him. I like how our bodies feel together.
It got late, he got a little sleepy, I suggested we go to bed. We had planned for me to stay the night this time. I had been looking forward to sleeping beside him. We went upstairs and had awesome sex. I can’t overstate how much I enjoy sex with this man. Absolutely everything he does to my body feels amazing. It’s a joyful experience for me every single time.
When I woke up in the morning, he wasn’t beside me. My sleepy brain decided he was probably in the shower, but as I became more awake, I realized he wasn’t. And one of his pillows was missing. Gradually, I figured out that he had gone to sleep downstairs. I snore, and while my current partners are both deep enough sleepers to not be affected by that, I have previously had people who found it unbearable. T falls into the latter category, and I understand his need to get away from it.
I slept in late. It was much needed. When I woke up properly, I called out to him, and he came back to bed. I decided it was my turn to take care of him physically, and I did just that. He enjoyed himself immensely, I loved to see it.
Then I was nosing at the books on his bedside table. He showed me which one was his favorite and said I should read it. It was short. So, while he showered, I read a beautiful story about caterpillars becoming butterflies and the struggles they faced to get there. I could see why he likes it so much.
After I had showered, we went out for breakfast, though it was 2pm. We talked about food, travel, music, and life. The food was wonderful, the company was even better. When we went to pay the bill, we looked at the pie selection. All meringue: chocolate, coconut, or lemon. I asked him which one we should get. He said we should get all three. YES! That is the energy we want.
Next, we visited a comic book store. I got a stack of comics I wanted to take home with me. He laughed at my impulsivity.
I had a tattoo appointment that evening, 15 minutes from his place. I asked if I could hang out until it was time to go to that. I live half an hour or so from Tulsa, so it made sense to stay in town. He said it was cool for me to stick around, and we went back to his place, watched a podcast, and ate our three kinds of pie.
It may be my PMDD brain talking here, but I felt like I might have outstayed my welcome this time. He didn’t make me feel unwelcome by any means. I just felt a slightly different vibe that afternoon. It also could be that the other sad things in my life were impacting me, and I’m projecting. That’s a definite possibility. I’m too close to it right now to look at things objectively, so I’m going to keep rolling with it and let things play out. There is so much happening in my head at the moment, I think it’s okay to attempt to silence it temporarily and just let myself be.
He walked me to my car, we kissed, and said our goodbyes. And I went and got my badass sexy triceratops tattoo. I’m seeing him again on Tuesday for another concert and I’m looking forward to it.
UPDATE: T knows about this blog and reads the posts I write about our time together. When he read this one, he let me know, unprompted, that I had not outstayed my welcome. We had a good, constructive conversation about PMDD and what he can expect to see in terms of my behavior. He was sweet and understanding about everything and incredibly reassuring. Green flags absolutely everywhere. I really like this guy. He’s pretty wonderful.
Fat and Slutty 