When I saw D’s profile I got a bit excited, I have to admit. Nice looking, has dogs, into music, film, plants, comic books and art. Left leaning and non-religious. Checking a lot of boxes, this one. We matched! Yay! We start talking. He’s nice, funny, respectful, interesting. Oh shit, did I accidentally find someone worthwhile?! Surely not.
We schedule a phone call. We talk for six hours. Not one moment of awkwardness, completely lovely. I’m amazed. We’ve both been through recent breakups, so we understand the need for keeping some walls up for the time being.
We talk about meeting. He asks if I’d like to go to his house. Watch a movie, order pizza. Sure! I’m in!
I go over there. One of his dogs immediately hates me, and I’m devastated. But it’s ok, I give her time and space and she warms up to me. We sit down to watch the movie, it’s great, very funny. I snuggle into him a bit. He puts his fingers under my chin and lifts my head up to kiss me. Swoooon.
The kissing continues. It’s like a dance, and I’m the one leading. He follows me well. I like it. We start getting handsy, and it’s hot. He has his hand between my legs when I hear him whisper, ‘If I keep touching you like this, I will want to eat you’, I tell him he’ll get no argument from me. He asks if I’d like to go to the bedroom, I say yes.
He looked good naked, I liked his body. I liked how it felt against mine. There was no awkwardness. Just two people exploring one another at their own pace.
He moved down my body, kissing as he went. All the way down until his face was between my thighs. Oh my God. He ate my pussy as though it were a delicacy. Something to be savored. It felt incredible. I was shocked by how good he was. The man could teach a masterclass in cunnilingus.
I returned the favor, of course. And then we fucked. Also great! No complaints from me about a single moment of our physical interaction. It was all sensational.
When it was over, we hung out in his room for a while. Naked, talking, listening to music. This was the first time we had sat face to face and talked. Up to then, we had been side by side on the couch. I noticed that he couldn’t keep eye contact with me when I was talking. But he could when he was. Ok, that’s fine. Lots of people find eye contact difficult.
Then he started bragging. A lot. About people in his family in positions of power. About their celebrity connections. The wildest brag was about how his 2nd grade girlfriend had won a global contest to be in an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I told him that was maybe the most bizarre flex I’d ever heard.
We watched the rest of our movie, both fell asleep on the couch. Then woke up and I left. The next day we texted a little, and spoke briefly on the phone. We had talked about him for a while, and then I switched subjects to tell him a story and he interrupted me to say he had to go because he was going to throw up. Ooookay.
The day after that he texted again, asked if I’ll go over there for dinner sometime this week. He wants to cook for me. I’m going to go, because I’m curious. What else is he going to tell me? Is anything he says truthful?
I have no idea, but I hope he goes down on me again.
Fat and Slutty 